Only Fools Rush In

Time. A Classic. A Novel Idea. A Piece. A Collection of Words. A publishing contract, and now what? The torn heart of a lover still mending from the shock value of a breakup predicted before I was born is sitting in a crowd and not being noticed by anyone but a waitress. She is beautiful and elegant. She is everything and anything… All that I had once. I missed her style and her charm and her understanding ways. Her personality was like a raging river crashing on the rocks along the bank but doing so gently and causing little splash back, but rather eddy currents that suck you in deeper and deeper, out into the fast moving current, and then before you know it you are carried away.

I remember the time we spent together.. Always together we were, never separate or apart. We were an item that clicked… We worked together at most things and meshed like no other, but she could be cold when she wanted to be and that was why we parted. We drifted apart one day over smoking… A thing I still indulged in but she had forsaken. She tore a hole in my heart the size of the Red River during flood season, and moved just as fast.

The river of time is as old as herself and has carved a gorge through my heart. This created high banks and even after her parting I could not get out of the river completely. I would drown if I stared at her too long… I would not survive the night without recapturing her. She was the best for me and I fit her just fine… Better then the others I had dated. She allowed me to express myself in ways that I thought were to remain foreign to me. My heart lost to any other and there would be none to replace her. My true love came and went in the blink of a heartbeat, not even a microsecond long… so it seemed.

Then the snow came, a blizzard really, and it snowed all night long and by 12:30am we were all stuck there for the night. It would have been an eternity if it were not for the certain waitress who I was all keyed up over… I mean all juiced up for… I mean hot and bothered over… I mean simply still in L-O-V-E with. There’s that word again, love, a four letter word, not quite a swear word, but marriage vows were swear words and they were on my mind. They were on my mind since before she left… I DO! There I spit it out… Expecting I DON’T DO… A laugh… Her father saying she can’t come to the phone, she’s washing her hair.

But then the cold feet pass… Yes cold feet, from freezing… She brought me back to life that day… Frozen in a snowbank after attempting suicide in a garage with a running car. She also gave me purpose to my life and got me going again, yes she gave me a reason to overcome my hatred of existing. She showed me love, like a flower… A corsage… Picked fresh. There was a reason to exist beyond suffering, I remembered her voice as I awoke in a hypothermic state… “If you are an obedient boy, then maybe, just maybe, you stand a chance.” The flashback subsided and I was still seated with her and she looked concerned… but she sees me now, doesn’t she? Here with her? I decided to try one last time for her… That was that.

“You look bored.” she said as she looked over the distance of the table.

“Not really. I’m just convinced this is fate.”, I said faking disinterest like I knew used to turn her on.

“Really?” she asked with a sarcastic grin.

Fate? What fate brought us together? Is that what you’re driving at?

“Yes… You, well all of us. Just look around. We know 90% of these people. The Jeffs are here with their significant others. My friends Ray and Jamie made it and look, there’s your sister with her new boyfriend. I think she met him tonight, right?” I asked as I scanned the crowd, making eye contact with many in attendance.

Fate is many things entwined into one… Like the tapestry we spoke of… I think Atropos cut us short just out of spite. He probably wanted you to be with him instead of little ‘ole me because you’re such a winner of a woman.

“Yes… but what does that have to do with fate?” she asked with a sigh indicating she wasn’t interested in being here, let alone being at a table with me.

Fate brought us together… The elevator was meant to happen. We were meant to survive together.. To be entwined as one. We were meant to be here tonight just the same and to leave together.

“Remember what I said in the elevator?” I asked while remembering the near death experience that brought us together.

I mean the part about couples who are in duress together often lasted together… You know as if its the test to see if they were meant to be… Could handle stressful situations together.

“You said a lot of things in the elevator.” she matter-of-factly responded.

I think we were meant to be… Just not now. 

She tapped the table to make me take notice of the engagement ring on her hand.

You’re engaged?

“Well, about couples getting together under duress. Look at your sister and Mike over there. They are already an item and they just met.” I stated again, subtly hinting that it was meant to be between us.

Yeah… I happen to be engaged to that one. 

“Oh, she never lasts with anyone… she’s a flit.” she said in a way that showed she was still disinterested.

I lasted with her for a while…We had just met.

Oh, yeah, before I came to Cumberland House.

Yeah. She was parked in a car and got out frantically. I talked to her and that was that.

Really?

Yup.

Hmmmm… so what does that have to do with us?

They seem to get along better than just flirting, so I think. I see a wedding in the future, just look deeper.” I said looking closely at the way they held hands and locked eyes.

She turned her head and her sister waved… “Yeah… just maybe.” she noted that for the first time I had made sense.

Yeah, like you said, just maybe if I’m a good boy, and I have been.

Really?

Yeah, I still love you… Maddly.. like Jim Morrison loved his wife… We could live on love street.

She smiled coyly.

“Well, you still haven’t explained us and fate… have you?” she asked out loud in an attempt to get the conversation rolling again between the two of us as if it had stopped cold inside our heads.

Yes… I have. FATE… It’s in our blood to be together.

“Okay, so I got off topic, but I do remember we met in duress, and again in duress.” I said with a smile as I again recalled the harrowing experience in the elevator.

I remember how scared you were… You jumped a pile of boxes and latched on to me.

“This is hardly duress.” she said as she thought I was foolhardy enough to get into the elevator with her.

“Well, we are stuck in a downtown bar, after hours and maybe the power could go out.” I said dreading the chill this place would get in a couple hours without power.

“Thanks for reminding me that there is a blizzard outside and we ARE stuck here.” she said as she clicked yet again with what I was thinking.

You really think the power could go out?

Maybe. Probably not though, this city has a well-maintained power grid. Remember, I was a Power Electrician.

“Again, I miss you, and so does Tigger.” I said to take her away from the worries of freezing to death.

YEAH! I miss you since you convinced him to call me Annabelle and he got goofy and called his parents. 

Oh, you brought her?

She still goes everywhere with me.

Really?

Like you used to. I can’t say you left a hole in my heart because I feel you’re still a part of me.

GIVE BACK THE RING STUPID LOVES YOU!

NOW?

YEAH!

“Just a minute.. I have something to do.” she said looking slightly worried as she stood.

She hurried away, very quickly. I thought I had offended her and got agitated and a little embarrassed. It shocked me as I was still in the bar and in a past loop I had left, not once but twice. How stupid of me, I was still thinking of the woman of my dreams and what I could say next?

JUST FLOW… let her lead.

Yeah… Let her lead.

She’s the best fit for you, is she?

I think she’s the best fit for all of me..

GOOD!

YEAH STUPID LOVES YOU!

Okay… let her lead.

Eventually she came back and sat back down, smiling. She was missing an engagement ring that had just been on her finger.

“There, now that’s all out of the way, where were we?” she said as she casually reached under the table and squeezed my knee.

“I think we were talking about duress… yeah that was it?” I said through a smile as I reached across the table and tried to touch her hand.

Does this mean we’re back together?

“Are you asking or telling me?”

“I’m not sure… I’m tired but trying to tell you.” I said wondering if I had taken the right approach… They did say let her lead.

“Good.” she said in full confidence.

“Anyway, we are here together again. What do you think?” she coyly asked.

Yeah… I guess it means we are together again… Just wait and see.

“Think about what?” I stupidly asked, thinking I had somehow misplayed again.

FUCK OFF AND ASK HER FOR A DATE!

“Oh yeah, would you go out with me again?” I blurted out, thinking it should have been a no-brainer.

“I’m not sure about that, if it wasn’t for the snow I’d be gone by now.” she spit out thinking of the cold and again reminded of the imminent danger of a power outage.

Don’t panic… It’ll be alright. We’ll get out of here just fine. Where are you going anyway? I heard you are leaving? I wish I had a cigarette.


“I’m craving a cigarette am I?” she asked wondering if we’d be allowed to smoke as it was after hours and we were snowed in.

“Oh… you hear me still.” she said suddenly, making it obvious that I was still as much a part of her as I thought she was still a part of me.

“YEAH! And I love hearing your voice, your inner voice.” I said smiling and remembering the silence game… We’d do it for hours in the dark after sex… Just sit and connect on a deep-meaningful level.

Can you hear anyone else?

Yeah, Pipita.. In your belly.

OH!

She’s pregnant?

YEAH!

Wonderful…

I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to tell, I’m a blabber mouth.

Yes, you are but I like that in you. You tell for the right reasons.

I made eye contact again and then the connection clicked… Just you and me, mostly.

What do you mean mostly?

I’m joining the King’s Horsemen.

Really? *SMILES*

Yeah… I’m a prospect… They finally asked.

I’m wearing my vest, wanna see?

Sure… Follow me.

“Come.” she said authoritatively… Leading like she was good at.

I got up and followed the lady into the backroom and took off my outer coat.

She grinned and said, “Well.. I guess one day it’ll be official.”

“I hope so.”

I mean Mrs. Jonasson.

Unhuh!

OH!

Well, I guess I’ll be flying out in the morning.

Really?

Yeah.

Don’t go! Give me a second chance?

NOW?

Please… I’m not grovelling but I will…. If you want.

No, I’ll see what I can do.

I was to leave in the morning too.

Where you going?

On a trip out east.

With the Horsemen?

No, just Tigger. But I will stop along the way and see brothers.

Oh… sounds interesting.

It may be. I was out that way once when I was crazy… I had to bring back part of a hurricane… to help Newfoundland.

Really?

Yeah.

Let’s get back to the bar before they declare us missing.

She again led and I followed dreaming of the small child developing in her stomach… My child.

Know him?

No… who is it?

Pepita’s brother… the other is sitting at the bar.

Who?

Bill.

Really?

Yeah… Bill.

You’re the youngest.

No, I’m not. I’m the oldest born last.

Smiles from both of us.

Okay, your family has decided to let you go, but only if you stay in contact.

I have a new toy… A satellite phone… With video feed.

Really?

Yup, just got here two days ago. I planned on regular updates for Facebook and Skype with family.

Skype’s fine. My brother will keep touch and maybe ourselves.

Go for it GIRL!!!

YEAH!

Like we said, just phone and tell us.

“Okay, I’ll go.” she said sheepishly as if she was unsure of herself.

“Yeah?” I asked ecstatic.

“Yeah!” she said with a powerful conclusion.

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