CRC Grabs Control

“Hello, CRC… Are you experiencing mental grief?”

“Nope… I’m bored and making prank calls.”

“Really? You called us to talk then?”

“Maybe… I’m not sure if you can help.”

“Okay, what’s the problem… We’re non-critical… Nonjudgmental.”

“Well, I’m as high as a fucking kite! I didn’t say kike did I? I like Jews.”

“No… K-I-T-E.”

“Good… people double me you know.”

“Double?”

“Yeah… that’s why I smoke crystal meth… to fuck them up.”

“Oh… You sound fine. You have a name?”

“Charlie… Charlie TwoShoes for now… I like the Indian sounding name.”

“Okay Charlie TwoShoes… how can I help?”

“What is the procedure for self-committal? Well not self, but for my mom… She’s fucked up and deranged on booze… But I’m the bad child.”

“Ah… Your mom.. Is she there?”

“Passed out again… I’ve had enough… Too much infact… I needed a shot of meth to settle my nerves… It’s apparently good for me said the psychologist… It keeps me level minded.”

“Sure… You sound fine like I said… Is your mom breathing?”

“Oh yeah… Super Bitch breaths well while drunk skunk style.”

“Can you revive her? I can send an ambulance… What is your address?”

“Mom.. the crank lady said to wake and bake!”

Charlie puts the phone down and gives his mom a shake… Nothing.

“Nope… Dead to me as usual. She has vomit around her mouth… I already put her on her stomach like last time… The nurse in ER told me how.”

“Okay… Stay on the line… I’ll send the Crisis Team and an ambulance.”

“I live at 518 Roseberry St. Send to the front door… Super Bitch is in her housecoat, but I’m sure she won’t mind her tatas and tetees hanging out.”

“Sure. Stay on the line with me… I just sent the call through… Thanks for calling, we’re here to help.”

“Yeah… I got homework to do… I guess that presentation’s on the back burner again? Teach’s gonna blame me… I got caught smoking my shit in the bathroom at school.”

“They think your troubled?”

“Yeah… retards in the office think I’m the problem… Don’t even listen to their own councillor. See my peopel talked to their people about appropriate and my stress level shoots right outta the atmosphere when I can’t smoke.”

“Well you sound fine yet again… You’re doing well considering. How old are you?”

“I’m 14… Mommy’s 36 going on 10… Shouldn’t talk like that, but it pisses me off… Again… Again… Again.”

“Listen I have a feeling that you and your mother both face challenges.. is dad nearby?

“Oh… Him. Mr Fucking Wonderful left when I was three… Went to Baker Lake or some shit… Some where there are no trees and Polar Bears… I think he’s in jail and she won’t tell… But I’m frail to her.”

“Still doing fine… Just vent… Tell me what you want.”

“Well, how long? Don’t want the lady of the house to drown in spittle or vomit.”

“ETA is about five… There’s an ambulance nearby.”

“Right… The luck… It’s about time.”

“See things are better for you already… just relax and check her breathing again.”

*Clunk* Phone gets put down again. Charlie puts his hand on her chest and notes the rise and fall… Feels for a pulse and gets a weak one.

“She’s okay… I think… Weak pulse, but breathing.”

“Okay… They should be there soon… Just relax.”

“I can hear a siren now… Close… Maybe out front.”

*Knock at Door*

“Common in!”

Two paramedics saunter in and take over the scene noticing that the victim isin the recovery positin and in stable condition.

“Okay… I can handle it from here… Thanks babe!”

“What you mean Charlie?”

“The paramedics got her… She’ll survive at least… I’ll wait here for the CRC people.”

“I can redirect to the hospital… You go with the ambulance.”

“Okay… Sounds great… I thank you again.”

“No problem… Redirected to follow ambulance to the hosp[ital they are headed to.”

“Okay… Thanks again… Talk to you never I hope.”

“Yeah… Good Luck Mr. TwoShoes.”

“Bye.” and Charlie hung up the phone, “Now what can I tell you two?”

“How long has she been out?”

“Not sure I found her that way when I got home from school… She drinks a lot on occassion. I don’t think she was drinking when I called a lunch… I hope I didn’t set her off.”

“She’s fine. Okay get the stretcher and lets get her out of here.”

The paramedics did their job moving the Charlies mother, whom they found was named Sally Tonimas, and the caller’s name was Charlie Tonimas. They led him outside and allowed him to lock the door before jumping in the ambulance with them to catch a ride to the hospital. As it turns out Grace was busy… Too busy… Misericordia was too busy… Okay, off to HSC.

“Well let CRC know where to meet you Charlie. We can’t hang around once we get there, but we’ll try and delay.”

“No problem… This is a night out for my family. I’m used to it by now.”

The ambulance turned off the siren and crept away from the curb headed for the Health Sciences Centre where Sally would be admitted, probably have her stomach pumped, and be treated for alcohol poisoning. Charlie had possibly saved her life yet again.